I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
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