i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
