i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
