i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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