Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
