Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
