these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
