Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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