yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
