So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
