it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
