I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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