I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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