I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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