I CAN MOONWALK!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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