Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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