spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
