Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I am available for nakedness
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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