Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he shaved USA in his pubs
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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