So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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