Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
