Duck Duck Cougar?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He passed out mid-signature
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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