How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
