Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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