so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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