I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
