She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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