Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
