This beer is not sobering me up at all
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
