found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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