I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
