OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
