Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
