At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
