You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
