I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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