I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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