How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
