The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i will never coherently bang her
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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