Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
