dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
