Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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