i don't like sucking hair
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
