My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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