I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
