What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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