God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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