the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
