the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
