Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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