my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
